Why Don’t People Understand?!?

I made a decision yesterday that I know has pissed off my core group of friends. I decided not to attend the Baronial Birthday of Twin Moons. I stayed home, watched movies, went to bed at a decent time and throughly enjoyed it. Well, once I was done feeling guilty. I am being lambasted about not being out with my friends. My question to them is…what part of “I DON’T WANNA PLAY IN THE SCA!” is not clear? I spent Friday evening in the company of some really great people and had a blast. All I could think about yesterday is being in stuffy room, pretending to have a good time when all I would be worried about is how I was going to make my last three dollars last till payday. Some say that this action allows Abby to win this battle we are having.  Umm…what exactly is she winning?? A boyfriend who can’t get it up?? More power to ya girl! I honestly had more fun choosing the peonies I want to plant in my garden than being there. My tweet today says exactly how if feel. If you choose to be a part of my life, then accept MY choices. If ya don’t, then leave.  This time, right now, the present…it’s all about me!

It’s a universal truth that people don’t really like change. Who I was these last few years…it’s not the true person that I am. That is the great part of my life right now. I am finding out who I am.

On a new subject. Getting ready to rearrange the apartment. I found someone on Freecycle that will come pick up the futon frame and computer desk.  Those items will be gone on Tuesday. This 4th of July weekend will be spent putting the master bedroom to rights and finally getting the office set up. I am postponing the re-painting of the furniture till next year. I decided that I would rather spend my money on getting the garden started. I will be clearing up a lot of space and I know that will release a lot of the pressure I feel right now.

On the Compact side. I put a lot of unused veggies and fruits in the compost pile this week. I created my meal plan for the next week and that seemed to help with making better decisions on the grocery front. Plus, it allows me to put my wish list together for the items I want to grow. For example, I am using parsley, cilantro, mint, oregano a lot in my cooking. It irks me that even at Sprouts, I am purchasing way more than I will use. I also kept my debit card at home this week. It was amazing to me to discover just how many times I was reaching for it. I will continue to keep it at home unless it’s a payday. It’s one less way for me to watch my spending. I have been doing a lot of reading in the voluntary simplicity and recently added myself to the Compact movement. It has been a challenge but it also builds an awareness I didn’t have before.

Time to finish my coffee, read the paper and take a shower. What loverly way to spend my day, renewing my spirit!

Denial…it’s just a river

There is a part of me that is totally aware that I am an overspender. BUT OMG, I am in total denial. I just spent 23 dollars at the thrift shop buying baskets and terra cotta pots for the garden. I could have spent more but I left the debit card at home.  SMRT on my part. I talked myself out of my meeting last night and totally justified my purchase by telling myself that it’s secondhand…YA STILL SPENT THE ONLY23 DOLLARS in  your POCKET!

Anything worth doing is worth the turmoil and pain it causes…just look at where you are now. Six months ago your world collapsed. Now here you are making plans and dealing with things better than ever.  One day at a time my dear, one day at a time.

If AT FiRst yOu doN’t SuCceEd,

StOp tRyIng, You’LL jUsT maKe mAtTeRs WoRSe!

All in All, it was a pretty pleasant Weekend. I took Friday off and took care of the car. I need new front/rear brakes and new battery cables. I will be going back to them, they were very good and very quick.  I am sure that I can get Silent John to help with the brekes and save a few hundred dollars.  Stayed home for most of the day which didn’t suck.

Saturday, I took Hermione to the cleaners. Went shopping at Trader Joe’s and Target and then was home before eleven. Worked on the kitchen and tried to straighten the place up. Got ready after my nap to got to MTJ’s birthday party. It was a good party but I was not prepared for Abby’s venom. So in respect to the situation, I am not playing nice any more. I tried to give an olive branch and was slapped with it. I did what I could to take care of the situation but that is all over and done. Now, it’s on Bitch…and you ain’t prepared for the shit I can throw.

Sunday, I did sleep in a bit. Looked through the news paper, clipped coupons and got ready to go to Nikki’s. Hung out with her, Mineko and a couple of Mineko’s best friends. I also purchases two large book cases, two storage cubbies, a curio rack, and a hutch top thingish….all for $20 bucks. Got home and unloaded the contents that are now taking over the hallway and the living room…cozy.

I have made a pact with myself in regards to my consumption.  I ‘m an over-spender and debtaholic. I am powerless over it right now and I must make the effort to face this. I wrote out a card yesterday to put in my wallet when I felt the need to spend. As of July 1st, I will be not buying anything new (with the exception of the health/safety/personal care items), recording my spending and going to the support group. It is part of the Sustainability portion of my year. I can now long hide from my addiction.

Now it is time to relax, get ready for tomorrow and turn off the TV.

Transformation

I was taking Hermione to the cleaners today and was thinking about all the ideas, actions, plans and so forth going on inside my head. I feel that I am making too many changes at once. That this is going to be tough. Will it be all worth it? Am I truly going to find someone who will join me on crusade of finding a sustainable, simple life?? I sure hope so. This is who I am. I am not changing to fit other’s ideas, my transformation is for me. So there!

Then the universe spoke….as it always does. Just have to be willing to listen. This is what I picked up from Daily Om today

June 18, 2010
Useful Transformation
Make Change Work For You

At the root of all growth, we find change. Allow it to work for you not against.

Transformation is a universal constant that affects our lives from the moment we are born until we leave earthly existence behind. At the root of all growth, we find change. Occasionally, change and the circumstances leading up to it are a source of extraordinary joy, but more often than not they provoke feelings of discomfort, fear, or pain. Though many changes are unavoidable, we should not believe that we are subject to the whims of an unpredictable universe. It is our response to those circumstances that will dictate the nature of our experiences. At the heart of every transformation, no matter how chaotic, there is substance. When we no longer resist change and instead regard it as an opportunity to grow, we find that we are far from helpless in the face of it.

Our role as masters of our own destinies is cemented when we choose to make change work in our favor. Yet before we can truly internalize this power, we must accept that we cannot hide from the changes taking place all around us. Existence as we know it will come to an end at one or more points in our lives, making way for some new and perhaps unexpected mode of being. This transformation will take place whether or not we want it to, and so it is up to us to decide whether we will open our eyes to the blessings hidden amidst disorder or close ourselves off from opportunities hiding behind obstacles.

To make change work for you, look constructively at your situation and ask yourself how you can benefit from the transformation that has taken place. As threatening as change can seem, it is often a sign that a new era of your life has begun. If you reevaluate your plans and goals in the days or weeks following a major change, you will discover that you can adapt your ambition to the circumstances before you and even capitalize on these changes. Optimism, enthusiasm, and flexibility will aid you greatly here, as there is nothing to be gained by dwelling on what might have been. Change can hurt in the short term but, if you are willing to embrace it proactively, its lasting impact will nearly always be physically, spiritually, and intellectually transformative.

So yea. The change is happening. I am a eco friendly, veggie growing, carnivorous herbivore! To say that this new chapter will not be without it’s bumps would be stupid. I know that there is still a lot of things to happen. Just got to be open and let the transformation happen.


My life has it’s routine again. I feel a bit calmer now that I am working my daily tasks and creating a home once again. I have decided to work in my Sustainability actions. I will be creating a master action plan today. I am recognizing my addiction to money, the splurging that I do and now it is right in front of me. Yea, sometimes you have to put on the big girl panties and work on the issues. I have learned to conquer my weight. Now I will learn how to deal with my money. Lifestyle is going to change.

Confessions of a Non-Foodie

I have been said to say that I would rather clean a house then cook a meal. I am not one to find the joy that others do in cooking. However, it has come to a time when I need to learn. So with the help of youtube, ehow, and various other sites I am learning to cook. This weekend it is an orange thyme crockpot dinner. Next week…Nikki’s Lasagna.

I tend to find the reciepes that are quick and easy the best of course. I did make a Halibut dinner that was the bomb! I was rather proud of myself.

Next you know..I’ll be buying a kitchen aid 😉

Somewhere New

I have a new obsession…blogs. I figure it is time to create one for myself. As though I have enough going on in my life. I guess I can add one more thing. Today is a day off from work. I am getting “Maggie” the SUV inspected today so I can get a good idea of what it will take for her to run for a couple more years. She needs some work and I have to find a way to get her fixed. I have been puttering too. The kitchen table is full of paperwork, lists, reading materials, and cat food. Go figure.

Guess I should finish up the puttering and leave this blog for a bit to get some things done before the apartment.